Paris Roubaix - The Hell of the North. My kind of bike race

Lots going on in the world of cycling.  Last weeks Tour of Flanders (NOT named for the Simpsons next door neighbor, Ned) was a bit of a surprise because Fabian Cancellera did NOT win it.  He was the odds-on favorite and rode a great race, just didn’t bring home the trophy.  Now he’s mad and will certainly take out his anger on the cobbles of Paris-Roubaix, my favorite one-day race.  Why, its nickname is “The Hell of the North.” Does it get any better than that?

And now, a moment for History.  There are 5 Monument races on the Union Cycliste Internationale (UCI) calendar.  I’ll bet you didn’t’ know that.  The UCI is the international governing body for Cycling.  I’ll bet you didn’t know that either. So in order to enlighten your bicycle racing knowledge I submit the following; Cycling’s finest one day races, ake The Monuments.

• Milan – San Remo (Italy) – the first true Classic of the year, its Italian name is La Primavera (the spring), this race is held in late March. First run in 1907.  This year won by Matthew Goss, and Aussie rider with HTC.
• Tour of Flanders (Belgium) – also known as the "Ronde van Vlaanderen", the first of the 'Spring Classics', is raced in early April. First held in 1913.  Its nickname is Vlaanderens mooiste (Dutch for "Flanders' finest"). This year’s winner is the Belgian, Nick Nuyens of team Saxo Bank.
• Paris–Roubaix (France) – the "Queen of the Classics" or l'Enfer du Nord ("Hell of the North") is traditionally one week after the Ronde van Vlaanderen, and was first raced in 1896. 
• Liège–Bastogne–Liège (Belgium) – late April. La Doyenne, the oldest Classic, was first held in 1892 as an amateur event; a professional edition following in 1894.
• Giro di Lombardia (Italy) – also known as the "Race of the Falling Leaves", is held in October. Initially called the Milano–Milano in 1905, it became the Giro di Lombardia in 1907.

When you look at the above list you might notice something.  Four of the Five have great nicknames.  “The Spring.”  “Flanders Finest.”  “La Doyenne, The Oldest.”  “The Race of the Falling Leaves.”  And then there is my personal favorite.  Paris Robaix – The Hell of the North.

How does this conversation go?

Doug: Hey, let’s go for a bike ride

Robert: OK.  Where?

Doug: We could ride on a beautiful Spring Day on a flower covered path in Italy.

Robert: NO

Doug: How about touring the roads of Flanders and see the wonderful sights of Belgium?

Robert: NO

Doug: How about riding down some of the oldest racing roads know to man?

Robert: Nah

Doug I know, what about racing our bikes past acres of multi-colored trees and Lake Como in the fabulous Lombardy region of Italy?

Robert: No

Doug: Hey, how about we go riding on 160 miles of wet, dirty, cold roads through some of the most inhospitable areas of France.  And, to make it more fun, let’s ride on roads laid during the time of the Roman Empire with cobblestones the size of gopher turtles.  And let’s do it on our skinny tire racing bikes.  That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

Robert: Are there drunken American-hating fans lining the route?

Doug: Sure!

Robert: I’m in!

PEOPLE!  It’s called the Hell of the North for a reason!  (Disclaimer:  Any similarity between the two randomly chosen characters in this fictitious scenario and Doug Fowler and Robert Vargas are completely coincidental)

Lots of contenders and even more pretenders.  Quick Step’s “Tornado” Tom Boonen is always a threat, Garmin’s “God of Thunder,” Thor Hushovd (current world champion) will be lurking.  Fabian Cancellara (aka “Spartacus”) of Leopard Trek is everyone’s favorite.  Or, it could be none of these guys. Crashes, bad weather, broken bicycles and broken bones are all part of the mix at Paris Roubaix.

So, in comparison, anything we do this weekend is just a leisurely doughnut ride.  

Enjoy the weekend.  Get out and ride your bike!

The arrival Fall in Florida (sort of)

The Fall has arrived! Cooler temps, dryer air, and more opportunities to ride your bike! What could be better? Well, riding a NEW bike would be better, but Christmas is still a few months away.

RANDOM RANT: I was recently in a Cracker Barrel restaurant in Georgia and while perusing the various knick knacks (read: JUNK) in the “Country Store” section I saw, no joke, Christmas decorations!!!! Are you kidding me? Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas, but in October? Before “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!” hits the airwaves? C’mon! In one fell swoop Cracker Barrel, those fine purveyors of fried food, caffeinated beverages and “Billy the Bass” dis-respected both the Pumpkin AND the Turkey! What’ next? A Baby Jesus Fireworks pack? The feature would be the “Star Spangled Star of Bethlehem Rocket.” Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Hmmmmm.

BIG NEWS in the world of cycling! 2010 Tour de France winner Alberto Contador has come under suspicion of doping! There were minute traces of a substance, Clenbuterol, detected in a urine sample taken during the Tour. The following is an excerpt from Wikipedia. - Clenbuterol is a β2 agonist with some structural and pharmacological similarities to epinephrine and salbutamol, but its effects are more potent and longer-lasting as a stimulant and thermogenic drug. It causes an increase in aerobic capacity, central nervous system stimulation, and an increase in blood pressure and oxygen transportation.

In other words, it will make you ride faster and longer. The amount found was originally said to be 400 times less than an amount required to create a positive effect. I later read it was 40 times less. In any case, not enough to really make performance difference. Contador contends that these trace amounts are the result of some beef from Spain he ate during the Tour that had been injected with Clenbuterol. Using Clenbuterol in cattle is a common practice in the European beef industry. Evidently there are some Spanish beef cattle training for a bovine marathon. I guess the steer in question was too slow and didn’t “make the cut.” That is a horrible play on words.

HOWEVER, another test of the same urine sample (how much does this guy pee?) showed the presence of “plasticizers”. Why is this important? Because these plasticizers are present in IV bags, the type used in blood transfusions. So here’s the allegation; Alberto previously used Clenbuterol, perhaps for training, and, after his doctor felt the chemical was out of his system, they extracted blood for transfusion during the Tour. Why transfuse blood? Introducing more blood into his system while he was racing and stressing his system would give his body the capacity to carry more oxygen to his muscles thereby enhancing his performance. BUT – the Clenbuterol was not completely out of his system when the blood was originally drawn so when the blood was allegedly transfused back into Alberto, trace amounts of Clenbuterol were also transfused. It was the Clenbuterol that tripped the Dope-O-Meter and that led to the further testing that found the plasticizers. ‘Tis a tangled web we weave.

Still, Alberto’s “Where’s the Beef?” defense might hold up – if they can repeat the results (and test still MORE of this guy’s pee) by having him ingest more Spanish beef. Explaining the existence of plasticizers will be more difficult. Perhaps the steer from which the meat was taken had an artificial hip. I think I’ll send Alberto a vegetarian cookbook for Christmas.

Tomorrow will be a BEAUTIFUL morning to ride. Might be time go break out the arm warmers or a light jacket.

I’m fighting a cold and may not be there tomorrow morning. If I show up it might be a short ride. I know, “Wah, wah, wah – just shut up and ride!”

6:30, not 6:31!